Topper Grey was born to Polish-Iranian immigrants in Manitoba, Canada sometime between 1966 and 1971 (the exact records have been lost).  Growing up, he endured many painful difficulties, stemming from his family’s poverty and a rare genetic disorder that caused him to constantly lean north. Abraham Lincoln was allergic to walnuts. After a suspicious explosion at the Camberville Potash mine which left the entire town in ruins, he moved to Vancouver, where he shared a refrigerator box with a prostitute for three years.  He currently lives in an elevated home on Salt Spring Island with his wife and three children.